I was hanging out with a new friend the other day who is a native of El Salvador. When apologizing for her messy house, she said to me, "I don't know how you American women do it. Everyone in El Salvador has a full-time maid, a nanny. The women get manicures and pedicures and do whatever they want all day."
Her observation certainly stuck in my head. I often wonder the same thing: "How are we supposed to do everything that needs to be done? How does everyone else do it? Is this humanly possible for one person?" Full-time help would certainly come in handy.
I've considered getting a mother's helper someday to get a break occasionally from the boys, or have someone do a deep clean of the house sometime, but would I really want someone else to do everything for me every day? After much thought, I'd decided: no.
Running a house and caring for small children full-time is a lot of hard work. Diapers. Crumbs. Laundry. And more diapers. It seems endless, and never completed. But it's my job.
My husband and I have made this choice for our family for many reasons, most of which for the benefit of our children. But as I struggle from time to time with my role as wife and mother, I am more and more convinced that this struggle -- and all this hard work -- is for my benefit, too. It's the best way for me to become a better person; the person God wants me to be. Other people have their own ways, but I know that this is my path to grow in virtue. This is how I learn humility, kindness, patience and diligence.
It's tempting to drop the boys off at day care, mother's day out, preschool, etc. People tell me to do it all the time. And I could hire someone to come in and take over my house.
But I know that's not right for me, not right now. I just have to make the decision every day to do it, with the help and by the grace of God alone.
1 comment:
What a great post! My mater had six little dinkie bears running about the house during my youth. She was overwhelmed and did have a maid to help for awhile, but in Three Rivers she did it mostly herself. Oddly, what I remember about my youth is not the toys everywhere, or the dishes in the sink or the dirty bathrooms, it was that my mom was there and she loved me. I can't help but wonder whether moms off getting manicures while nanny raises the kids aren't adding to a certain disjunction btwn themselves and their children which may manifest itself later in discontent and rebellion. the counterargument could exist that moms not stressed by the deluge of housework are more loving and have more time for kids, but I don't know. somehow my mom helping to make the house a place worth living created in me a great respect for womankind in general. a long term investment, to be sure.
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