To Be Continued...

It's early morning, and I'm sneaking one last post before the moving-day scramble begins. We've got just about everything packed, and hope the day goes smoothly. Pray for us!

I wanted to take this last opportunity to thank all of you for reading "Humble Utterings" this last year, whether you are a daily "lurker" -- as one dear friend calls it ;) -- or an occasional reader. It's been a joy to share our lives with you.

I've decided that "Humble Utterings" is the perfect snapshot of our time in Humble, Texas, and it is time for ... drumroll please ... A NEW BLOG!

It's called "The Duty of Delight," and will be a forum for further meditations on faith, family and motherhood -- the duty of delight! I've loaded some of my favorite reflections from last year, plus a listing of my articles for your reference.

So bookmark the site, and please visit as often as you'd like.

May God continue to bless your life abundantly! =)

What Ten Months Can Teach You

Forgive me for waxing nostalgic, but I can't help but look back at our time in Texas with deep satisfaction and gratitude to God -- not only for what we accomplished, but for what I learned.

I learned that I am an adult. I can move with my husband, and take our two children, across the country and live thousands of miles away from most of the people we know and love. I've enjoyed the comfort and security of living in familiar places my whole life, with a wonderful safety net of family and friends. I feel like living in Texas was the first time I really stood on my own two feet and came into my own -- in the vast unknown.

I've learned that the greatest way to conquer fear is by doing exactly what frightens you. This includes flying alone with two boys six times in two months, holding down the fort while your spouse is out of town every month, and even firing a gun. I was quite anxious about doing all of these things. But I did them. Because I wanted to see if I could do it. And it worked out every time, by the grace of God.

I've learned that my marriage -- and my family -- comes first. Before, I was so caught up with our busy, full life in Minnesota that I didn't depend on my husband for friendship enough. In Texas, he was my only close friend for many months, and certainly my best friend the entire time. In those very lonely first few months, I realized that I could be happy anywhere, as long as I had my husband and children with me. I feel closer to all of them now than I ever have before.

I've learned that I can do anything -- even things I can't imagine or foresee -- with the help of the Lord. I have had one of the most humbling ten months of my life, when I was brought to my knees in front of God too many times to count. And it's there, when we are weak, when we are small, when we are truly in docile to him, that he can actually do something for us. When we finally ask for help he can show us he listens, he cares and he's unlimited in capacity to change us and our circumstances.

I've learned -- firsthand -- that God cannot fill us and make us who he wants us to be until we are empty. Detached of everything safe, familiar and known. Everything we want for ourselves or think would make us happy. When these things are gone, he has room to do the work he intends for us. He's just been waiting for the invitation.

And I've learned to be thankful for hard times. That may sound crazy, but it's one of the most important things I've realized in these months -- and in my entire life. I am so grateful that in the midst of strife, even when I'm still stinging, the thought finally occurs to me that there must be some good to come of this. We may not see the redemption of our suffering immediately or even in our lifetime. But every stumbling block we face with faith and understanding brings us closer to God and paves our path to heaven. And that's what we're all here to learn, isn't it?

Ode to Texas

Six more days. That's how long we have left in Texas. In a week, the boys and I will be back in Minnesota, and Dear Husband will be enjoying the hospitality of the Clear Creek Monks in Oklahoma for a day of prayer and rest.

Over the last few days, Dear Husband and I keep saying to each other, "Can you believe we're moving in a few days? I can't believe we're leaving Texas!"

Because, of course, we're happy to be going back to Minnesota for some reasons ... but we will certainly miss Texas for other reasons.

And so follows our ode to Texas, and everything we've loved here:

* Our Texan relatives, especially Cousin K -- the daughter of my cousin, who lives nearby. Boo Boo often announces to us, "Someday, I am going to marry K." He doesn't seem concerned that it's against the law...

* Miss Dani -- Our beloved babysitter, who was literally an answer to my desperate prayers. Where else can you find a 19-year-old who works in the parish childcare center, was homeschooled and wears an archdiocesan T-shirt every time we see her?! She even got Boo Boo to start saying, "Yes, ma'am" by treating me with such respect in front of him. When Boo Boo said good-bye to her, he almost cried; and I almost cried along with him!

* Mockingbirds, brown pelicans, confederate star jasmine, cypress trees growing out of swamps and signs warning about alligators living in our neighbhood's "lakes."

* All of the different, slower "fast" food, especially Sonic, Whataburger and Chick-fil-A. And all of the Tex-Mex flavor and smoky barbecue smells.

* Monstrous superhighways, six lanes wide, both ways, with HOV/carpool lanes and feeder/frontage roads, too. Criss-crossing, soaring high in the air. Infrastructure, glorious infrastructure!

* Our incomparable parish, Our Lady of Walsingham, with its charming, Australian-born priest (who has a twin brother priest to boot!), beautiful, fruitful families, and an Anglican-rite liturgy that is heavenly.

* My Familia group and the Our Lady of Perpetual Help bible study: full of faithful, fun moms with oodles of adorable children. Another major answer to prayer and further evidence of God's perfect provision in my life!

* Dear Husband's colleagues -- all of their different gifts and personalities made for a wonderfully complimentary group, and a happy work environment for DH.

* Our new, carpeted, roomy rental home -- with fenced in backyard, neighborhood parks, pools and splash pad, and free fitness room, trash, internet, cable and alarm system. (Yes, it HURTS us to leave all that!)

There are many other things, and many other people, who helped make this place feel like home -- even for ten months. We'll always be Minnesotans ... but perhaps a small part of us may still remain a little bit Texan.

One Last Time

Here's Boo Boo, running to the shrine of our church's patroness, Our Lady of Walsingham... one last time. =(

Boys of Summer

Early yesterday morning we packed up everything but the kitchen sink and headed for the Gulf again to welcome the beginning of summer. We knew we wanted Dear Husband to enjoy the beach, but didn't want to deal with the inevitable Memorial Day mob. We got there by 9:30am and the place was already pretty full.

Boo Boo decided that he was now afraid of the water and spent most of his time in the sand.

X-Man, on the other hand, wanted to spend all his time with in Gulf. When he was on land, he'd sign "Go" and "Water." LOL! We took turns carrying him and wading out to our waists so he could experience the really big waves -- and he just loved them! Many people had to laugh and smile at his chuckling.
On the drive home, we were happy that no one had gotten burned, and that we had missed the traffic jam then slowly creeping toward the Gulf.

Gratuitously Cute Photos of the Week

X-Man, intrigued with a friend's beautiful baby girl. Love that he's climbing on the stroller, standing on tiptoes! =)

Joyful News!

I just got a call from Dear Husband, informing me that we have a new niece! Our sister-in-law gave birth at 2:20am to a 5lb, 5oz little girl in a birthing tub -- how cool! I hear she has lots of hair. We can't wait to see her when we return home.

(She is our first niece and the first Minnesota cousin.)

Thanks be to God for a safe birth and healthy child! May the Lord bless them all abundantly!

Beach Clips

Enjoy these videos of the boys, enjoying the Gulf! =)

Delightful Day

We wanted to be sure to get back to the beach before we moved, so we headed there today with friends. First, we stopped at a beautiful old church -- Mary, star of the sea, pray for us!

Then we hit the beach. I was surprised how much time Boo Boo wanted to play in the sand.

And I couldn't believe that X-Man was comfortable walking into the Gulf alone! (He's got me on a pretty short leash these days.)


I walked in holding onto both of their hands and was rewarded with some hearty belly laughs from X. He loved the waves hitting his tummy!


Afterward, we stopped at Sonic to take advantage of "happy hour," which made us quite, well, happy!

Amusing Moment of the Day

We were all eating lunch with some tortilla chips when we heard Boo Boo say (reading the label): "M-I-S-S-I-O-N. Cha-ips. Chips!"

Looks like we're going to have to work a little more on sounding out words! =)

Smoking Guns

We had a quintessential Texan experience today: we shot a pistol at a shooting range. And yes, you read that right!

Neither of of us had ever really seen, held, heard or shot a gun before today. But we couldn't resist the opportunity to see what it's like. (When else would we have a chance to do something like this?!)

One of Dear Husband's colleagues invited some folks over today for a trip to the rifle range and a late lunch; they even volunteered to watch the boys!


We learned a lot about how to handle and shoot a pistol -- thanks to a friend who patiently showed us the ropes.

Dear Husband turned out to be a really good shot and even got a few "bullseyes," if you will. (Though he did get reprimanded for rapid fire. Ha!) I wasn't nearly as good; it took me at least five rounds to even hit the paper target, and I still hardly got a shot on the actual target area. I could not believe how hard it was to shoot the pistol; I was completely exhausted after holding and firing the gun for a while, and my hands really started to hurt. (I can't imagine how soldiers do it all day, for months on end!)

We're both glad we had the experience, but we don't think we'll need to do it again. It's a one-time, Texas thing I think...

Gratuitously Cute Photo of the Week

6:45 p.m. Out cold.

And this is the kid who refuses to take naps every single afternoon.

It's the second day he's fallen asleep on the couch. We think maybe his bed is too hard?

He May Have a Point

Me: Boo Boo, please stop making that noise; it's bothering me and your brother.

Boo Boo: Yes, but it's not bothering me!

Where Two or More Are Gathered...

Today has been one of those days. Dear Husband left early and has to work late. The boys seem to be constantly screeching, crying and picking at each other. The weather is cloudy and strange, ready to storm -- so we had to cancel a daytrip to the beach and can't go to our usual parks. Just about everything was annoying me, and I wasn't doing a very good job of hiding my frustration.

After a wretched morning trying to exchange something at a store, I brought the boys back home and sent them out to play in the backyard. I sat alone in the kitchen and tried to pray, asking God for help and forgiveness. I know He was listening, but I just wasn't "feeling" it.


Finally, I got a hold of a dear friend, who patiently let me complain about everything while her own three children vied for her attention. After I got it all out, she said, "Let's pray about this."

Now, most of us Catholics are not very good about this sort of thing. We're great at saying, "I'll pray for you today," but not "I'll pray with you. Right now." Frankly, if I need immediate prayers, I call my pentecostal or evangelical friends!

Even yesterday, I was on the phone with another dear friend who was dealing with some heavy circumstances. Not only were she and her family going through just about every transition possible, but her doctor told her she had a 50-50 chance of hospitalized bedrest for the last four months of her third pregnancy -- which probably would end with a pre-term, emergency C-section. (Please pray for her and her baby!)

I tried to be as sympathetic and consoling as possible, but I felt like nothing I could say would help her feel better. I asked her, "What can I do for you? I wish there was something..." I could have prayed with her, of course. Right then. That would have probably been the only thing I could have done to help. But I didn't even think of it.

God bless my dear friend today, who did think of it, and did it, and helped me like I could not help myself. After her prayerful words over the phone, the tears fell and the weight lifted. I hung up with her, and held out my arms to my boys and hugged them tight. I told them, "Please forgive me. I'm sorry. I love you."

And I'm grateful, too. As Sirach 6:15 says, "There is nothing so precious as a faithful friend, and no scales can measure his excellence."

Read On

Here's the latest story in ZENIT on one of our most favorite, fascinating people. We can't wait to get through the whole book -- it's huge!

A Happy Mother's Days

We've had a lovely past few days, despite the annoying malaise being passed from one to the other.

Friday night, a dear colleague of Dear Husband graciously watched the boys for us while we went out on a date to our favorite restaurant. When we came home, the house was spic and span -- she even cleaned the STOVETOP! God bless her!

Saturday we spent almost all day in our pajamas, as Dear Husband got sicker and Boo Boo hacked away between nebs.

Sunday, DH was basically down for the count. I got some very nice Mother's Day cards from him and the boys, got to go shopping by myself during naptime and went out to a fun dinner. But that was about it. DH has declared that he'll take better care of me Father's Day, instead.

My best "gift" was definitely on Saturday night. Boo Boo fell asleep in the car on the way to Mass; DH went in with X-Man and I let BB sleep for a half hour longer. Then I got to awaken him, hoist him out of the car and carry his brick-house self to the church.

He laid on me for the rest of Mass as we sat in the crying room, and he almost fell asleep again. And due to a conveniently placed mirror to the side of us, I got to gaze at his flushed, chubby chickadee face, snuggled against my chest. It was like having him as a big, fat baby again, but only for a moment.

Empty Tank, Empty Hearts

All the fish are gone. They've been given away to some gracious friends who've promised to give them good homes.

Once we knew we were moving back to Minnesota I knew we had to give them away -- it was only a matter of time. First went Siegel and Samuel to one friend, who passed them on to others. Then went Little Red to a sweet little girl for a birthday present. Then went Spike and Whiskers to another friend who wanted them for her daughter.

The tank is empty, drained and drying now. But I keep looking at it, looking for our fishy friends. Every time I come home I glance in that direction, expecting to be greeted by them. When I wash dishes at the sink, there's no one to entertain me.

I am a little embarrassed to admit this, but I miss those fish! Boo Boo was admirably good-hearted about seeing his pets doled out, and it was a relief for me to have them taken care of -- and not have to maintain the tank in our last weeks.

But still, they were our first family pets. They'll always hold a special place in our hearts, no matter how many fish we get, or flush, in the future.

Bizarre Moment of the Night

I think Boo Boo had his first official nightmare last night. I was awakened to him screaming "Mama! Mama! The flies are getting me!" in the middle of the living room. Totally bizarre!

I tried rocking and comforting him. I tried to explain that I caught all the flies and put them out the window. I tried putting him back to bed alone, twice. No matter what I tried, he continued to be completely hysterical, batting at invisible flies and crying, "They're on my eyes! They're on my ears!" And he was crying so much that he was coughing pretty bad.

After more than an hour of this, I pulled out the big guns and threw everything at him. I gave him Tylenol, an antihistamine, changed his diaper, nebbed him and snuggled him. Finally, finally, finally, he fell asleep in his bed and I army-crawled out of his room.

And then I couldn't fall asleep for more than an hour.

It's going to be an early night for us tonight! =P

Enjoying, and Learning, Docility

It's been a quiet, low-key week -- mostly due to yet another sinus infection for me. =P (Something is always blooming down here!) Lots of passive parenting from the prone position on the floor, which delights the boys. They love having me on their level and climbing on, sitting on and snuggling up to me. Boo Boo has been giving me many kisses to make me feel better.

This week has made me remember how important it is to slow down sometimes and really give them my full attention -- not just do things to them or work around them. The housework will always be with us!

It's also been good for me in growing in virtue. Because I've had much less energy, I haven't been getting as frustrated, impatient, annoyed or upset as usual. Usually when I'm sick, it's a time of grouchiness, self-pity and self-absorption. What a grace it's been to be meek of body, and see how I should be reacting all the time to my little charges. What a blessing to be learning to forget my aches and ailments, and focus on others, and smile at them through it all.

Just another way that motherhood is my highway to heaven!

Phenomenal Moment of the Day

Today at the park, X-Man was noticing some of the more educational aspects of the equipment. He went up to the circle and the word "mirror" and said and signed "O." Way to go, X! =)

Too Much Fun

Tonight we went to a little friend's birthday party at a gymnastics center.

Boo Boo had the time of his life. He was more than happy to jump right into the foam pit.




We couldn't resist! I hadn't laughed that hard in a long, long time.

A Berry Good Time

We were blessed enough to go strawberry picking today at a farm with some friends. It was a perfect day -- sunny with a few clouds, a cool breeze and 80 degrees.

Boo Boo was an enthusiastic picker -- or should I say, eater? I think if these farmers were serious, they'd weigh the kids before and after they're in the strawberry fields to get the TRUE amount of strawberry's picked.

Most of BB's harvest went from hand to mouth, and finally, I had to cut him off. X-Man indulged in only a few.

As I was sitting in the field with a belly full of sun-warmed strawberries, watching all of our precious children bend and squat and pick down the rows, I smiled at the bliss of it all.

"Is this heaven?" I thought to myself. No, it's Texas springtime!

Rackin' 'Em Up

So, here's another ZENIT article. We're trying to cut back, really! The story ideas are just super-abundant right now... just like the amount of God's grace it takes to do this work during this busy time for us. God is good! =)

"Hiwawious"/Phenomenal Moment of the Day

While washing dishes in the kitchen after lunch, I overheard Boo Boo in the living room "reading" a story to X-Man for the first time.

"Fouw wittwe wady bugs cwimbing up a twee. Awong came a turtwe -- then thewe wewe FWEE!"

Musical Beds

We are not family bed people. Some people are, some are not. We're definitely not.

I co-sleep with my newborns for three to four months at the beginning, when they're pretty quiet and easy. But after that, I can hardly sleep with a child anywhere near me. I have a really hard turning off "mom mode" when a child is in my room, awake or asleep.

Right now I am in Boo Boo's bed. Alone. With at least one of his hard, plastic, Noah's ark animals sticking into my back. Dear Husband is in the guest bedroom. And Boo Boo has our huge king bed all to himself.

Boo Boo's been awakening at 4am the last couple of nights, and DH has been great about getting up with him and putting him back in his bed. (He's not scared, just hungry; must be growing again!)

But tonight (or should I say, this morning?) when I heard Boo Boo crawl into our bed I played possum and waited for DH to take him out. But it never happened. I laid there for quite some time, waiting, until I slid off my side of the bed and peaked over.

There was Boo Boo's beautiful brown head, curled up on a pillow, and DH was nowhere to be seen. When I found him on the futon, he said that Boo Boo had crawled into his arms and fell asleep, preventing DH from falling back to sleep. We conferred and decided to not risk awakening BB by moving him.

So here we are: all in the wrong beds, and two of us getting little to no sleep. Looks like we're going to have to buck up tomorrow night and put BB back into his own bed immediately, so we actually can get a full night's rest! Right now, I'm trying to not dread the headache I will have while dragging myself around today. =P

A Good Read

I have to say that this has been my favorite article to work on recently; it was like a spiritual retreat in itself. Enjoy!

A Day of Lessons

Last month we took the boys to the local rodeo, which runs for three weeks each year. (It's a lot like the Minnesota State Fair, only bigger and longer.) Yes, these people are serious about rodeo!

We were excited to take Boo Boo, in particular, because he loves animals, he loves cowboys and he loves watching bull-riding on ESPN. One of Dear Husband's colleagues had told him about Mutton Bustin', and we thought Boo Boo would love that, too.

For those of you less enlightened, Mutton Bustin' is like bull-riding for kids. You put helmets and kevlar vests on them, have them hug a sheep's back, and they ride the sheep to the other end of the corral. (The kids have to be a certain height and weight, of course, and parents have to sign a release form.)

Our experience Mutton Bustin' -- or lack thereof -- taught me many lessons that day.

Lesson #1: Boo Boo is actually afraid of some things.
Before this experience, I had chalked up Boo Boo to be virtually fearless. He thinks nothing of climbing to any height, has not had one nightmare, and has never been afraid of a "monster" in his closet. But once he saw a kid slide off of a running sheep he refused to ride himself. (Not that I blame him.)

Lesson #2: Some moments are better to be experienced than photographed.
In my grand Mutton Bustin' plans that morning, I had packed the newly charged camera and video camera in order to capture the experience that day. I was prepped like a paparazzi. When we got to the Mutton Bustin' arena I realized that I had forgotten both cameras and had no way of recording the event. Needless to say, I was BESIDE myself. (Luckily, we made friends with the nice family next to us, and they just emailed us these photos.)

As I fought back the tears and curses, I watched the other parents snapping away at their children and realized that I would actually be able to watch my son with my own eyes -- not through a camera lens or a screen. I would be able to enjoy the day without worrying about how many shots I had left, whether my kids would smile for me at the right time, or how low the battery was. Frankly, sometimes I DO feel like my kids' personal press corps (especially with the blog), feeling like I have to capture every single "special" moment of their lives on film. But I don't. And not doing so was actually kind of a relief.

Lesson #3: I am WAY too competitive.
When Boo Boo told Dear Husband that he didn't want to ride the sheep, I had to step in. "Let me give this a try," I told DH, as I switched kids with him. For some reason, I thought that I could change BB's mind somehow; I tried every strategy I could to talk him into it. ("Are you SURE you don't want to? Not even a little bit? Don't you want to hug that sheep? Isn't he nice and soft?") He kept saying no. It was when I saw another mother yelling at her son until he cried that I realized what I was doing. I was on the slippery slope of becoming a pushy stage mom -- the Jon Benet Ramsey rodeo version. I wanted this to happen so much myself that I wasn't respecting Boo Boo's wishes or free will. Praise God, I backed down, gave up and enjoyed watching everyone else's children get smeared by sheep.

Of course later that day -- and about once a week since -- Boo Boo has exclaimed out of the blue, "Mama, I want to ride a sheep!" Oh, well. Maybe next rodeo?

91 and Sunny

Tis the season for ...

Wearing shorts every day and getting new knee scrapes ...


X-Man's first band-aid (he's signing "hurt" here) ...



Bandage trash strewn on bathroom counters ...



And sweatin' like a fat kid.



Summer is here!

Phenomenal Moment of the Day

When I was a little girl, my mom would spend hours pushing me in our tire swing in the backyard, singing to me. She'd also recite poems from "A Child's Garden of Verses."
How do you like to go up in the swing, up in the air so blue?

I have continued the tradition with Boo-Boo; often, when I push him, I recite "The Swing" by Robert Louis Stevenson.
Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing ever a child can do.

Tonight, after dinner, our little family went to the neighborhood park so the boys could blow off some steam. We pushed them in the swings for a while, then took a break on a bench.
Up in the air and over the wall till I can see so wide.

Boo Boo started pushing an empty baby swing, so I went over and plunked X-Man in it. This was the first time BB agreed to push his little brother in the swing himself -- a wonder in itself. X squealed with delight, showing off his dimple.
Rivers and trees and cattle and all, over the countryside.

Dear Husband and I were chatting on the bench, when I heard snippets of something familiar, something Boo Boo was saying a few yards away. I stopped our conversation so I could hear better.
Till I look down on the garden green, down on the roof so brown.

Could it be? Could it really be? Yes. Boo Boo was reciting "The Swing" to his little brother, passing on the family tradition. God bless him!
Up in the air I go flying again; up in the air and down.

Up Close and Personal

We went to the zoo today for the first time in a long time, and got to visit all sorts of animals we hadn't found before. X-Man was thrilled to see real, live animals (NOT just in a book or on a video) and was very excited to sign all of them.

Boo Boo was just ecstatic to get up this close to a Komodo Dragon, one of his favorite animals du jour. He kept saying, "This dwagon makes me waugh!" Boo Boo laughing made his little brother laugh, too, of course.

We also enjoyed a long reflection pond full of koi, which, luckily, no one fell into!

Takin' the Boys Out to the Ballgame

The other night we were given free tickets to a major league baseball game -- the boys' first! It was in a new, beautiful ballpark and our tickets were on the ground level, behind home plate.

Boo Boo was just ecstatic when Dear Husband brought him down to the field beforehand, and both boys thoroughly enjoyed hot dogs, french fries and a frozen lemonade.

We were amazed at how well-behaved the boys were; both sat quietly for two hours! We were so grateful for a fun evening together, with no complications! =)

"Hiwawious" Quote of the Day

Boo Boo has really gotten into spelling and letters, and goes around the house saying, "Frog starts with 'F'!" and "Jesus starts with 'J'!"

This morning, he told Dear Husband, "Wonghorn starts with 'W'!"

The Results Are In...

I took X-Man in for a check-up today, as he turned 18 months yesterday. He weighs 21 pounds, 3 ounces (THIRD PERCENTILE!), and is 31.5 inches long (25th percentile). I had to laugh at his stats; I had thought he'd gotten SO heavy lately! (Tells you how out of shape I am!) Luckily, my doctor is pretty laid back and is not worried, as X is continuing to grow (even a little bit!) and thrive. "Somebody has to be the third percentile," he said with a shrug.

Every Time I Turn Around...

X-Man is doing this! Eek!

I keep telling him, "No, thank you, sir!", but can I really blame him? When you're this tiny and you're trying to make it in a big, big world, you have to make do.