What Ten Months Can Teach You

Forgive me for waxing nostalgic, but I can't help but look back at our time in Texas with deep satisfaction and gratitude to God -- not only for what we accomplished, but for what I learned.

I learned that I am an adult. I can move with my husband, and take our two children, across the country and live thousands of miles away from most of the people we know and love. I've enjoyed the comfort and security of living in familiar places my whole life, with a wonderful safety net of family and friends. I feel like living in Texas was the first time I really stood on my own two feet and came into my own -- in the vast unknown.

I've learned that the greatest way to conquer fear is by doing exactly what frightens you. This includes flying alone with two boys six times in two months, holding down the fort while your spouse is out of town every month, and even firing a gun. I was quite anxious about doing all of these things. But I did them. Because I wanted to see if I could do it. And it worked out every time, by the grace of God.

I've learned that my marriage -- and my family -- comes first. Before, I was so caught up with our busy, full life in Minnesota that I didn't depend on my husband for friendship enough. In Texas, he was my only close friend for many months, and certainly my best friend the entire time. In those very lonely first few months, I realized that I could be happy anywhere, as long as I had my husband and children with me. I feel closer to all of them now than I ever have before.

I've learned that I can do anything -- even things I can't imagine or foresee -- with the help of the Lord. I have had one of the most humbling ten months of my life, when I was brought to my knees in front of God too many times to count. And it's there, when we are weak, when we are small, when we are truly in docile to him, that he can actually do something for us. When we finally ask for help he can show us he listens, he cares and he's unlimited in capacity to change us and our circumstances.

I've learned -- firsthand -- that God cannot fill us and make us who he wants us to be until we are empty. Detached of everything safe, familiar and known. Everything we want for ourselves or think would make us happy. When these things are gone, he has room to do the work he intends for us. He's just been waiting for the invitation.

And I've learned to be thankful for hard times. That may sound crazy, but it's one of the most important things I've realized in these months -- and in my entire life. I am so grateful that in the midst of strife, even when I'm still stinging, the thought finally occurs to me that there must be some good to come of this. We may not see the redemption of our suffering immediately or even in our lifetime. But every stumbling block we face with faith and understanding brings us closer to God and paves our path to heaven. And that's what we're all here to learn, isn't it?